Anxiety, Fear & the Nervous System During Perimenopause

I have always been a jumpy person. Watching films with jump scares? Not a big fan. I was walking around the corner the other day and people were coming around the other side of the corner and I jumped. And it just made me think about how our nervous system, particularly during perimenopause, is often really on edge.

There are many things that my clients report to me, and one of the things is being worried about driving. There are lots of women who become anxious when driving, even if they’ve been driving for many, many years without a problem. But as they go through perimenopause, because our nervous system is changing, our cortisol levels are changing, and our subconscious thoughts and patterns are changing, it becomes something that feels quite challenging.

And anxiety is a really big thing — not only driving — but often women are waking up first thing in the morning feeling quite anxious.

Now, there are many reasons for this. It all comes down again to our hormones, but also our lack of sleep, which is related to our hormones. But there’s lots going on at that time of life as well. We might have teenage children, we might have ageing parents, so our nervous system is right to the edge. It’s on its limit. It doesn’t take much to push it over.

So there’s a few things that our hormones are doing during perimenopause. One is that progesterone is slowly decreasing — and that’s our calming hormone. So if we don’t have as much of that, then we can have more anxiety. But also our oestrogen levels go up and down. Sometimes they can be high, sometimes low.

Our cortisol level — one of our stress hormones — is often quite high too. And if our cortisol is high, then our body is feeling stressed. That can then lead to many symptoms of menopause: poor sleep, brain fog, mood swings, anxiety and more.

When we think about anxiety, there are many things that can make us anxious.

Anxiety is an emotion — just like anger, sadness or happiness. But with anxiety, we often develop physical symptoms because it activates our fight-or-flight system. Our stress hormones rise, our muscles tighten, our breathing becomes quicker, and our body prepares to run away.

Then we feel those symptoms and become anxious about the symptoms themselves. If our heart is beating faster, if we’re breathing heavily, if our muscles are tight — we become anxious about being anxious.

But it’s important to understand that anxiety is an emotion, and there are things we can do to calm the nervous system down.

Sleep is a huge factor. If we don’t sleep properly, we are far more likely to feel anxious. But anxiety can also stop us sleeping well, so it becomes a vicious cycle.

There are things we can do before bed to calm the nervous system:

•  Yoga 
•  Body scans 
•  Hypnosis recordings 
•  Journaling or a “mind dump” 
•  Breathing exercises 

If we sleep better, we are less likely to wake feeling anxious.

Morning anxiety is also common because many of us “check in” with ourselves as soon as we wake up:
 “How am I feeling?”
 “Do I feel anxious?”

And then we focus on the anxiety.

Instead, try focusing on calming the nervous system. Breathing exercises, yoga, movement, and exercise can all help release endorphins and improve resilience.

The more we focus on something, the more we notice it.

If we focus on feeling calm, capable and in control, we start to notice those feelings more often.

When I’m doing CONTROL, which is a type of remedial hypnosis, we first identify the pattern somebody has. For example, driving anxiety. Then we look at why it’s happening:

•  Has something happened in the past? 
•  Is it a fear of losing control? 
•  Is it a learned subconscious pattern? 

Once we identify the pattern, we can start changing it through subconscious work.

I’ve also created a mini course on subconscious patterns, how to identify them, and how to start making changes. That includes journaling exercises and techniques to challenge unhelpful thought patterns.

If you’re trying to make changes yourself, stress management is really important. If the body is already overwhelmed, then everything else feels harder.

That might mean:

•  Taking regular breaks 
•  Moving throughout the day 
•  Doing breathing exercises 
•  Journaling 
•  Positive affirmations 
•  Creative hobbies 
•  Crosswords or jigsaws 

Anything that helps calm the nervous system and reduce stress levels.

A lot of women feel like they become a different person during perimenopause. In some ways, they do — because hormones and the nervous system are changing. But that doesn’t mean positive changes aren’t possible.

We just can’t take our wellbeing for granted anymore. We have to actively support it.

So ask yourself:
 Is there something causing fear or anxiety that you’re avoiding?

If so, don’t just put up with it. Address the reason why. It could be practical, hormonal, emotional, or subconscious.

And if you need support, I do work one-to-one both online and in person through CONTROL sessions, and I also have the mini course available if you’d like to start working through those patterns yourself.

Until next time, take care — and think about what changes you can make this week.